Just Breathe
by teamfreewill82
Summary: Hi, everyone, first fic in this fandom; I really hope you enjoy it. Please comment and let me know what you think; I have a few more stories I'd like to publish, so tell me what you wanna see or something okay? Thanks a bunch. :) Rated M for drinking references. (Edited)


**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Gossip Girl**_** or anything relating to it except my writing.**

**Just Breathe **

_Looks like the Upper East Siders are reminiscing about years passed… xoxo_

Blair was sprawled on Serena's bed, flipping through the television channels frustratedly. "There is _nothing_ on. How many times can we watch _Degrassi_ without feeling like it's meant to represent _our_ lives?" She pressed the off button just as Serena came out of the bathroom, freshly showered for their sleepover.

"All these channels and yet here we are," she agreed. Blair nodded, sullen, with her hand propping her chin up. "So," Serena said, towel drying her blonde waves, "you called an emergency sleepover for… what?"

Blair breathed out–clearly a buildup–as she straightened in her position. "_Well_… It's complicated, I guess." She frowned and Serena pursed her lips in a smile.

"Is it?" she asked. "Explain."

"Well, Nate got an apartment so we could be close to each other next year, but then turned it into me him asking me to move in with him but I hate the area! And then Chuck put it in my head that Nate only asked me because he was upset about me and Chuck speaking again and when I asked Nate he admitted it! Now I don't know what to do and I just–needed my best friend."

Serena wrapped her arm around Blair's hunched shoulders. "Looks like you've had an interesting night." Blair nodded miserably. "Did you want me to tell you what I think you should do, or…?"

"Well _I_ certainly don't know! I don't want to be in the middle of Nate and Chuck's chess match!" Blair said. "I want to be with Nate, I want to take that step but if he's only doing it to one-up Chuck, I… I feel like a _pawn_ or something."

Serena nodded in understanding. "Well, I don't think the problem is necessarily you. It's Chuck. We all know him, have been friends with him since forever. We know how he is. And Nate is… probably afraid you'll fall _prey_ to him again," Serena finished mockingly.

"I guess that makes more sense. Things were weird between them last night, it was obvious. Do you really think Chuck is the problem and not me?"

"You know Nate isn't a controlling guy; if he doesn't want you around Chuck, his best friend, it's because you've been with Chuck in _that_ way, more than once. He's worried. It isn't you, and I just feel bad for Chuck, that he's done so much Nate doesn't even trust him with you anymore." After a second, Serena said, "Do you remember back in sixth grade you and Chuck were voted most likely to kill each other by the class?"

Blair snorted, surprised. "Where the hell did _that_ come from?" she asked.

"I have no idea. Just, I don't know; I guess this whole fight thing you've got going between you guys reminded me…"

Blair's lips turned up in a small grin. "Yeah. We had a lot of fun. And then at Nate's Christmas party in 8th, Chuck drank Nate's dad's strawberry Schnapps—"

"And Chuck was so drunk he couldn't even stand straight! He kept trying to kiss me, then you! God; how old were we then? 12?" They laughed out loud, remembering the party clearly.

"It was so ridiculous; we had to drag Chuck up to Nate's bedroom!" Blair's wide smile became more reserved at the memories as she fidgeted with her hands, nostalgic. "All three of us slept in his room that night—me, you, and Nate in his bed with Chuck on the floor."

Serena laughed, quietly. "And then you went and slept next to him with a blanket."

Blair blushed. "Did I?"

Serena grinned at her. "Yeah, you did. You freaked out the next morning when he puked all over Nate's hardwood floor."

Blair laughed at this, bringing her hand to her forehead. "Oh, God, that was horrible."

"It was sweet. You were closer with him, back then," Serena murmured, looking at Blair and back to the bedspread. Blair quieted down.

"Yeah. I was. But we've changed. He changed." Serena didn't respond, only nodded. Blair cleared her throat after a moment of silence. "Bathroom. Be right back," she announced, forcing her voice to sound perky.

Blair stared at herself in the mirror, trying to see the girl of four years ago, all adolescence and mussed hair as she'd stood in Nate's bathroom, just woken from a night of restless sleep by Chuck's sleepy-drunk voice saying in a whisper, "Thanks. For staying down here with me." She'd looked at him in the dark as her eyes adjusted. His dark eyes had stood out the most. "What are friends for, genius? Sleep." She had reached forward to close his eyes, but he'd grabbed her hand in his, holding it. He hadn't said another word, only held her hand until the moment he threw up, four hours later. Now, Blair braced herself against the bathroom counter, breathing becoming slowly steady again. Breathe.


End file.
